I had a bad day today. I'm dealing with some stressful things at work, I had a tearful phone conversation with my Mom, I haven't seen my parents that I'm close with in seven months, I'm questioning my goals and I'm questioning the future which all piles on top of me. I don't have these days or even this attitude often but it's still there.
I haven't been to class at Sicfit Austin in three weeks due to schedule conflicts and I debated not even going today. As I walked down Burnet Road to the gym I debated why I do this. Why can't I be like any other "normal" athlete and run Town Lake for my workout? Why can't I just live and not think about goals or the ever elusive muscle up (muscle up handstand push up?!) or paleo/zone or competing or affording Lululemon? I didn't have an answer.
But then I got to class. And for that hour I felt alive. I PR'ed my power clean, did one armed thrusters, one armed floor presses and prowler pushes, all which I had never done before. I got to cheer on teammates as we went through a twelve minute wod, heaving snatch balances and power cleans. I got positive feedback from a great coach about what to work on in the future.
And that future that I was stressing about all day long? It's still there, elusive as ever. But I got to leave the gym with a lighter heart, which is my answer to why I do this. I can throw all the numbers out the window because they don't matter. I'll be doing this for as long as it makes me feel better about myself.
5 years ago